Monday, February 22, 2010

He Said, She Said, Then WTF?

OK…word of advice. Most people who don't want things repeated already know this rule of thumb…ALWAYS start your sentence with “Hey, I heard something but don't repeat….”

Whether or not it DOES end up getting repeated, at least you got your back covered and it’s THEIR fault. Right? Makes sense to me…because you can go back and say, “BITCH, wtf?!”

So here goes my story:

I hear something first thing in the morning. I get details. This person was told by me in the past…that if I am told ANYTHING that might just be a rumor, I WILL dig for truth before I start believing and falling for the bullshit. I'm not into drama and spreading rumors. So that's what I did. Never was told NOT to say anything.

Somehow it turned into a cluster-fuck. Yep. I did point the finger in her direction. I fucking heard it from her. I’m not gonna sit here and say, “yea, it was me” because it wasn't. I heard it from her! SO in her dramatic anger, deletes me off Facebook, and goes into her husband’s account to make sure I'm deleted off his. At first I was like wtf? are you 14 and I was pissy. But now, I fucking laugh. She's telling me I threw her & hubby under the bus and I jeopardized his career. Huh?!!!! What bus???? Is he in time out? Sit in a corner? As my husband said in the beginning, don't say anything you don't want repeated. Keep your mouth shut. And so I only spoke of shit everyone else knew. Who knew this was a hush hush topic when I was told?

I hate drama and people who love the drama. People create drama because they feed off it.

I don't have any enemies. Except for her. Kudos for me because I don't need it. She can keep it.

As for me….I’m planning our vaca and looking forward to hearing from my hubby and friends that are NOT ridiculously surrounded in their realm of retardedness. I hold my bitch title high. You can hold your Drama Queen plaque higher. Shine it, buff it. Do what makes you breathe better.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

B( * )( * )BS

Ok. Everyone's favorite topic whether you are flat, gigantus, pancake/flapjacks, light switches, or mosquito bite shaped.

I was originally a perky happy A cup. Growing up, all I did was pray for these puppies to grow into full breeds. My unforgiving Asian background wasn't about to let that happen.

Years later, I ended up pregnant. Multiply that by 3. During the pregnancies, I was a HUGE firm full busting out of C cups. I felt like I had missiles!!! I was so happy. Even if I was literally a walking milk farm. But I also had this monstrous weight gain. When the babies were baked, and breastfed, weight gain lost...I looked and saw in horror were these once A cup perkiness fallen to a squishy -A raisin, sucked out mess. Victorias Secrets were just lies. And even with her so-called secrets, my soggy tits just sunk into these little padded cups that were supposed to give me some umpf. Yea.

I finally saved up some money and went to a cosmetic surgeon. Flipping thru numerous magazines of playboy, I didn't know what I wanted more. Their entire perfect bodies or just tits.

All I can afford were boobs. So. That's what I ordered. I decided...since I was single and paid for them myself, that I just wanted to be proportioned and I didn't want to look like a stripper or a pornstar.

So I got small C's. I was pleased. Until I was awoken from surgery and went to my follow up. Dr said, "you know, you coulda went a Lil bigger." But my guess is they always wanna up your size.

Happy with my new additions, I was so much more confident. And all my other unsightly flaws seemed toned down. I know I'm no playboy model but at least I'm not saggy EVERYWHERE. Well, ok, now just everywhere else.

So now I'm dating. After my horrible marriage ended and then the relationship after that. I thought I sworn off men. I cried my life away after each holiday passed. Then I met my now hubby. I think he thinks I was a retard.

Everyone says "oh your boobs are perfect! They look and feel natural and you don't need to go bigger, you'd look ridiculous!"
Well...now I feel like an idiot because everyone who frowns upon huge fake tits, stares at them. WTF was I thinking? I paid how much for natural?!!!!

So. Here I am with my "natural" tits. Thinking how ridiculous would I REALLY look if I got them bigger? I drive myself nuts but oh well, I now have to tell myself to stop looking at other women's fake tits and comparing them to myself.